Why Hire A Doula?
Whether or not to hire a doula is a HUGE decision...and it should be! Research suggests that the people who make up your birth team greatly impact overall satisfaction and outcomes of pregnancy and birthing journeys. Additionally, receiving consistent, non-judgmental, informed support during the postpartum period has a dramatic positive effect on the physical recovery and mental/emotional well-being of new mothers and their partners. But why hire a doula for all that? How can you be sure you'll be happy with the decision? What does a doula even DO?
Doula FAQS:
I thought doulas were only for home births...I'm planning on a hospital birth; do doulas even help with those?
Short answer: YES! In fact, while doulas are often associated with home births, their role in a hospital setting is just as valuable. In a hospital, doulas can help you and your partner advocate for your birth preferences, navigate the medical environment, and assist with non-interventive comfort techniques such as breathing exercises, positioning, and massage. A good doula will collaborate with your medical team to support your experience and help you feel empowered and informed the entire time. If medical interventions are desired or deemed necessary, your doula can help ensure you are given informed consent and understand your options every step of the way (no emergency Dr. Google searches!) Research suggests that having a doula present for hospital birth reduces the rate of unwanted interventions, increases satisfaction with the birth experience, results in better maternal and neonatal outcomes, improves coping mechanisms and perceptions of pain/difficulty…all the same benefits of having a doula in home birth settings. We're all about continuous emotional, physical, and informational support during pregnancy and labor, no matter where you choose to give birth!
If I know I want an induction/an epidural/a belly birth, etc., is it helpful to hire a doula?
Short answer again: YES! Piggybacking on the above answer, doulas are for everyone...home, birth center, hospital, vaginal birth, belly birth, surrogate birth, zero interventions, all the interventions, crunchy / scrunchy / silky mamas and birthing parents, single parents, couples...you get the idea :) A doula's support can make a significant difference in your experience regardless of the type of birth. When a birth story involves induction, medical pain management, a belly birth, or other interventions, there can be added uncertainty/discomfort/risks/side effects/recovery needs. Your doula’s presence can help reduce stress, increase your sense of empowerment, and help you feel more confident in your choices, ensuring that your birth experience is as positive as possible (even if things don't go 100% according to your initial plan).
I'm not SURE if I want interventions, but I do know I'm feeling overwhelmed and scared of labor...help!
First of all, you are NOT alone...for most people in our culture, the first birth we witness/attend is for our own babies (and representations of birth in movies and TV do not count, trust me). It's normal to feel uncertain or fearful about anything unknown! One of the best parts about working with a doula is having someone there who is an expert in normal...we specialize in evidence-based support, in reassuring you and your partner every step of the way and making sure you feel as informed and in charge as you want to feel, and in being a constant, steadying, and loving presence during your pregnancy and labor. I encourage my clients to take an out-of-hospital childbirth education course to explore the myriad choices surrounding labor and birth and to help them with a general idea of what the process is like, but it's also not reasonable to expect that you'll remember every detail when you're in the thick of it. That's where I come in...during pregnancy we will talk through all of your concerns and uncertainties, and during labor it's my job to help reduce your stress and give you the support you need in every changing moment, whether or not interventions or medical pain management end up being a part of your experience.
I have a doctor, a midwife, a bunch of nurses...I'm not sure I want to add yet another person in the room with me.
It's completely understandable to feel uncertain about whether you'd want to add yet another person in your birth space…it’s a highly personal decision! That said, the role of a doula is different from your medical team, so it’s important to consider what kind of support you’re looking for. Generally speaking, your doctors/midwives/nurses focus on the medical aspects of your care: monitoring yours and baby’s health, performing procedures, and making clinical decisions (there’s variety in how all this happens depending on the care provider and their modalities, but you get the gist). A doula’s primary role is continuous uninterrupted emotional/physical/informational support (read: in between all your doc appts and throughout your entire labor/birth) that is entirely focused on you and your partner. We don’t replace your medical pros but we DO complement their care and can help you communicate effectively with them. If there’s a situation where you need to make a decision or discuss options, your doula can help clarify things for you and ensure you feel comfortable and informed. My advice? Interview a few doulas! Get a sense of their individual approaches, ask them how they work with other members of your birth team, and see if you “mesh well” (where my Clueless fans at?) It’s about what works for YOU, because your birth team makes a huge difference in how you feel about your childbirth experience.
My partner and I took childbirth ed; we feel pretty informed. What benefit would adding a doula have?
First of all, way to go! Feeling confident in your knowledge and understanding of childbirth is a great foundation for a positive experience. Even with that prep, there are many ways a doula can still provide value, particularly when it comes to hands-on, personalized care during labor. By this point you’ve probably heard me say we offer evidence-based emotional, physical, and informational support a bazillion times :) but it’s still true! When labor starts, it’s a live, unpredictable experience and a doula helps you understand and adapt to the unfolding situation. We can navigate real-time adjustments to your birth plan, be an extra set of experienced hands, help you communicate with your medical team, offer a judgment-free risks/benefits explanation of potential procedures, guide your partner in how best to support you in individual moments, and generally take the pressure off of both of you to feel like you have to know/remember it all. My job is to keep the experience as positive, calm, and empowering as possible for you, allowing you both to focus on what you need to…birthing your beautiful baby!
I don't want to know or think about childbirth! I just want a healthy baby at the end of it. Why bother with a doula?
Well, yeah—childbirth can be overwhelming to think about! For some people, the idea of delving into all the details of birth is stressful or unnecessary, and when you DO ask friends or family to share you often hear lots of “horror stories.” Here’s my take: as my own childbirth ed teacher says, “if you don’t know your options, you don’t have any,” meaning that knowledge is what puts you in the driver’s seat and gives you the tools to cope with any potential overwhelm. You absolutely get to decide how much information you want to consume when it comes to prepping for pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, but this information should come from an evidence-based, experienced, and non-judgmental source. Think of a doula as one of the aforementioned “tools;” I support you so that you can focus on birthing your baby. Having a doula can actually simplify your decisions when things come up: they can help ensure that the medical team is aware of your preferences and can offer clear, unbiased information if any decisions need to be made, meaning you can feel more in control of the process. Even if you don’t want to be overly involved in the details, I can manage many of the logistics, guide and support your partner, and keep things calm and smooth so you can simply be in the moment. That peace of mind can go a really long way to lessening stress and anxiety throughout pregnancy and birth, and can absolutely benefit the end goal of “healthy mom, healthy baby”…research shows improved maternal and neonatal outcomes for births that include a professional doula. Less stress = less fear = a smoother experience overall physically AND emotionally! We’re also there post-birth to help in those early moments with the baby when you might be feeling tired, fragile, or unsure. Whether you want a deep dive into birth-nerd territory or a more go-with-the-flow approach, a doula can provide valuable support in a way that allows you to focus on your individual goals. Our job is to take care of the experience for you, making sure you feel supported and safe without needing to handle all the complexities of labor yourself.
My mother/sister/best friend are going to help me during birth and postpartum, so why would I hire someone else?
It sounds like you have a great support system in place with your village already, and that’s wonderful! They will undoubtedly be amazing resources for you, so think of a doula as a foundational layer of support: someone who offers a unique combination of professional expertise, hands-on support, and unbiased guidance that can complement (not replace) a partner/relative/friend…making the experience more positive and less stressful for everyone involved. Labor can be long, intense, and unpredictable, and it’s not unusual for your loved ones to feel exhausted, uncertain, or even overwhelmed at times. A doula is there to provide continuous, hands-on support throughout the entire process—something that can be challenging for family members to do for extended hours, especially if they’re emotionally involved. We can also help manage the physical aspects of labor, like position changes, guiding breathing techniques, and comfort measures—all from a trained eye and tailored to your specific needs as labor progresses. Your loved ones might not always know exactly what to do, especially if it’s their first time supporting someone during birth. A doula can guide them on what’s needed in the moment, whether that’s helping them understand how to support you physically or simply giving them advice on how to be the most helpful emotionally. When it comes to questions you might have during your childbirth journey, family members and friends may have strong opinions or advice (often based on their own experiences or preferences) but a doula’s role is to focus entirely on what you want and need. We are trained to be unbiased and non-judgmental, and to provide evidence-based information that helps you make informed decisions while still respecting your choices. Our informational support is also extremely valuable during the unpredictability of labor; a doula’s experience with unexpected changes (like an unplanned belly birth, labor complications, or other shifts in your birth plan) can help you navigate those moments without overwhelm…and we can help keep your loved ones calm and focused as well! All of these benefits extend to after the birth as well; postpartum doulas are professionally trained to help with things like feeding, baby care, optimally balanced nutrition, and mental well-being. If family and friends have to juggle other responsibilities (like caring for older children, returning to work, etc.), if they have strong opinions that may or may not align with current practices or your own desires, or if they are expecting to largely spend time with the new baby, having a postpartum doula to manage postpartum needs/expectations and prioritize “mothering the new mother” can be a huge relief.
I mean, birth goes how birth goes, right? My provider team will tell me what I have to do; I don't feel like I have much to choose from in the moment.
You're absolutely right that birth can be unpredictable, BUT that doesn’t mean that you don’t have options or that having a doula can't add value to your experience. In fact, doulas are trained to help reduce stress/anxiety in uncertain situations and create an environment of support and trust, so you feel more empowered and less overwhelmed. We’ve been through myriad birth experiences before and are experts in normal…sometimes all that’s needed is someone calmly reassuring you about what’s happening moment-to-moment! Speaking of the moment-to-moment, of course your provider team will guide you through the medical aspects as labor progresses, but birth isn’t always linear and sometimes choices need to be made quickly—especially in cases of complications or unexpected interventions. A doula doesn’t replace your doctor or midwife, but we do facilitate communication and help you advocate for your informed consent and birth desires at each step. For example, if a medical procedure or intervention is recommended (like an epidural, C-section, or induction), a doula can help you weigh your options, ask questions, and ensure you’re comfortable with the decisions being made. As I said before, “If you don’t know your choices, you don’t have any!” Beyond informed consent advocacy and a calming presence, doulas are valuable for non-medical pain management and relief, position changes, optimal fetal positioning, and other tips and tricks for a smoother progression of labor…not to mention our constant and consistent presence during your birth experience: informational, physical, and emotional support, from the moment we are hired. All of the above are statistically proven to improve a birthing person’s feelings of empowerment, control, and happiness with their overall experience even if things don’t go as planned. Pregnancy and birth are some of the most momentous times of your life; you deserve to feel supported, held, and positive the entire time!
Between birth classes, all my books, Instagram accounts, Facebook groups, and all the TikToks I've watched, I feel like I'm already on information overload. I don't know if I can handle yet another person talking at me!
My sassy side wants to tell you to immediately stop the social media scroll/Dr. Google deep-dive, but I also recognize that we live in a digital age and there can be great information out there if you’re looking at reputable sources! For real, though, between the books, social media, classes, and online groups, it’s easy to feel like you’re drowning in advice and opinions. Here’s the thing: a doula is different from all that noise, and here’s why: First and foremost, my main job as a doula is to listen, not lecture (I’ve definitely done childbirth ed for clients before on request, but it’s not my primary function). I want to understand your preferences and goals so I can offer calm, unbiased, and evidence-based support that’s personalized to you and your partner. I can also help you organize and clarify alllllll that info you’ve already been gathering through your classes, books, and Insta accounts (and perhaps a well-meaning friend or relative with lots of anecdotal advice…?) and help you translate it into something practical and applicable (or know when to toss aside information that is unhelpful or downright incorrect). I’ll never tell you what you “should” do but I will help you make sure you’re heard and supported in the way you need. When you hire a doula, there’s also no pressure to know it all! Even the most prepared pregnant person cannot be expected to remember everything from birth class when in the thick of labor or the heightened emotions of pregnancy and postpartum. A doula isn’t there to quiz you or expect you to be an expert; we’re there as trained professionals with our own arsenal of knowledge to help you feel supported, safe, and stress-free as you navigate each moment. If specific information is needed, we’ll discuss it together in bite sizes, not one big feast :) Finally, one of my favorite things to tell my clients is that I’m incredibly invested in THEM but not in their compliance. What I mean by that is if they don’t want certain kinds of advice or techniques that I may offer, they don’t have to use them. I’m there to work with your preferences and adapt my support to your needs, and my only skin in the game is you feeling heard, seen, informed, empowered, and confident in your unique birth story and parenthood journey. Sometimes sources of information come with a hefty dose of judgment, opinion, or shaming (yes, I’m looking at you, social media comments sections)…a doula’s literal paid job is to NOT be that way. Rather than adding more unwanted information, they’re there to help you filter out the noise, clear the clutter, and focus on what matters most to YOU.
What if I hire a doula and it turns out I didn't end up using them for much during labor?
Hot-ish take: I firmly believe that hiring a doula is not an all-or-nothing investment. I’ve attended births that have lasted 40+ hours and births where the baby came before my 2 hours of free parking expired, births that were heavy on the hands-on comfort measures and births where I barely touched the mom, and all kinds of births in between. Doula support is much more nuanced than simply how much you give us to do during labor. One of the biggest things a doula brings to the table is their presence. Sometimes, I'm a "do-ula" in a birth (actively providing comfort measures, fetching water, answering questions, etc.) and sometimes I'm a "be-la"...which means I'm just BEING. I'm literally doing nothing except sitting there holding space, and often the birthing couple is so in the zone they forget I'm there. Here's the kicker: studies show that even just having a doula existing in your birth space improves birth outcomes (insert mind blown emoji here). I often compare it to the best insurance policy ever: just the peace of mind of knowing that informative, encouraging, valuable, and CONSTANT support is right there if and when you need it can transform the physical and mental state of mama and partner. Plus, even if you're rockin' it without assistance, doulas can provide a lot of hands-off help in the form of water/snacks, maintenance of a calming environment, communication with other members of birth team, and post-birth events like first latch, the golden hour, skin-to-skin, etc. You don’t have to use your doula in any particular way, or the entire time, for their support to be effective. It’s all about having someone there who understands what you might need at every stage, even if that just means being calm and steady in the background. From a financial standpoint, it may seem daunting to invest in a doula when you’re not sure how much you’ll use them, but consider the fact that doulas statistically can lower rates of unwanted (and expensive) interventions and statistically improve maternal and neonatal outcomes which may help avoid associated costs as well. Obviously no one can guarantee birth outcomes, but as “insurance policies” go, a doula hire is a pretty sound one based on that data alone! Remember, too, that a birth doula is also there for you during pregnancy; personally I offer my clients 3 one-hour prenatal appointments as well as unlimited email/phone/text support from the moment I’m hired, during which I answer questions, process fears/concerns, offer emotional support, help with birth plans, etc. So even if labor itself doesn’t require much from me, I’ll invariably have been more “active” at other points during my time working with a client. Bottom line: If you hire a doula and end up not using them much during labor, that's totally okay! Our job is not to force you into a specific experience but to be there for you in whatever way you need, and sometimes that means stepping back because you’re doing great on your own. If you decide you need more active support, we’ll be right there ready to jump in. And even if your labor goes smoothly and you don’t need much assistance, the emotional and physical support we provide before and after can still be incredibly valuable.
OK, OK, I get the benefits of birth doulas. But how is a postpartum doula different from just hiring a nanny / housekeeper / baby nurse / lactation consultant / having friends and relatives come visit me after the birth?
If you’ve read through this entire FAQ (and honestly, good for you if you did; I’m very wordy), you’ve probably cobbled together this answer, but I’ll tell you anyway :) All those jobs are great jobs, and if you want to add them to your village of support then by all means do it! I always advocate for the deepest bench you can build when planning for your parenting journey. But here’s the breakdown: a nanny babysits, a housekeeper cleans, a baby nurse cares for the baby’s physical well-being, a lactation consultant helps with feeding, and family/friends (while well-meaning) mostly want to cuddle the baby and may not have the professional knowledge to be of deeper assistance. But none of those people are there to “mother the mother.” A postpartum doula is a trained professional who does just that (plus at least some of those other jobs as well). As I do for birth, I provide physical, emotional, mental, and informational support from an evidence-based and unbiased lens, to the birthing parent and the new family unit. This can take the form of a listening ear and safe space to help process your experiences, practical guidance on newborn care/needs and sleep routines, lactation and feeding assistance, light household tasks, meal preparation with an eye towards postpartum-specific nutritional needs, help with the physical recovery from birth, facilitating maternal self-care and rest, and guiding the non-birthing parent in how best to support their partner while also caring for themselves during what can be an overwhelming and exhausting time. Working with a postpartum doula has been shown to reduce the rates of perinatal mood disorders, increase breastfeeding success if desired, speed the physical healing process, improve parental confidence in newborn care, and provide better overall family adjustment...all of which also contribute to a more settled and content baby! My ultimate goal as your doula is to leave you feeling reassured, calm, supported, empowered, and confident in your new role as parents. I also come armed with an extensive resource list of vetted local providers, businesses, and services that may be valuable to a family during the fourth trimester, whether that be lactation consultants, pelvic floor PTs, meal preparation and delivery, pediatric providers, herbalists, massage therapists, parenting groups, or more. I only recommend people who I have either worked with personally or know peers who have, so I’m confident that they offer high-value and expert services. After working with me, one of my postpartum clients said “this was the service we didn’t know we needed and it was honestly the most valuable for us.” While there’s often so much societal and medical emphasis on preparing for pregnancy and birth, there’s very little on getting ready to actually have your tiny human living in your house while you’re simultaneously experiencing a massive physical and emotional event. The value of a postpartum doula lies in our ability to expertly assist with SO many aspects of the challenging and tender days of early parenthood and to give mom the care and attention she needs and deserves.